R/CollegeResults: Writer With Decent Stats and a Hook Applies to 18 Schools!
Attending a “safety school” to avoid the (financial) burdens of prestigious colleges
By Alisha Wong with art by Alex Kozak
Let me just preface this by saying: yes, the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota was an intended safety school for me in high school. No, I definitely did not want to come here, and yes, the title is akin to the subreddit taglines I would scour every day to enhance my college application.
My absolute dream school was Notre Dame. It was close to home, they had an excellent business school, the campus was lovely, and my favorite color was green—it was indescribably perfect. However, I was deferred to the regular decision cycle and then waitlisted on St. Patrick’s Day, so it was then I no longer believed in the Irish. (I was also waitlisted at Boston College, so maybe it was a Catholic thing, too.)
Even though I was one of those high school students who shotgunned over a dozen schools—who virtually built my whole identity on what college I would get into—I more or less got what I wanted. There were brilliant colleges I was accepted to that were on the top of my list: Wake Forest, Carleton, Washington & Lee, Davidson, University of Richmond.
So why didn’t I choose them? Financial aid. I hadn’t realized at the time that many students are forced to reject their dream schools after being slighted by FAFSA, and it’s rarely a controllable factor in the admissions process.
After weeks of mourning and contemplating, I wept while I clicked the “enroll” button and decided I was not going to pay $100K per year and sell my soul for a bachelor’s degree.
I was still grieving when I started at the U. My ambitions shattered. (I remember lamenting to my mother about how I will never try hard again because I just don’t care anymore.) Other colleges had been so heavily romanticized that I envisioned the worst would happen here—ginormous class sizes, a horrendous roommate, and an altogether unremarkable undergraduate experience. I felt that I settled for a school I didn’t want; I worked so hard for something so attainable but still couldn’t entirely achieve it. And isn’t that what everyone ends up thinking from time to time? That there is something better out there had they just held on a little longer, clutched a little tighter?
So how do you reconcile your past self to this new you stuck in a university you didn’t want to enroll at? I really couldn’t tell you because you simply have to go through it. In the wise words of Junot Diaz, “The only way out is in.” But I do know that when I began to realize why I needed to come here, I didn’t lose anything at all. All the achievements and abilities I showed in my application didn’t suddenly disappear. Nothing I did or learned was ever wasted.
And the things that were truly important—my family, friends, character—stayed and pointed me in this direction. My family perpetually supported me while college-hunting, lavished me with hopes and prayers, and held me when I cried. While I stayed up all night penning poetry for publications or prepping for board meetings, my friends helped me balance my neuroticism. I didn’t apply to colleges I knew I wouldn’t be happy at, which made my applications more sincere and heartfelt. All these things persisted, which also means so much more is in store.
This isn’t to say there aren’t days when a minor inconvenience happens and I wonder “would I be happier if I went somewhere else?” But, I’ve got to say, I’m pretty happy here. And so I think the way to be happy in college is to prepare yourself to be happy anywhere. The college I ended up choosing didn’t make me happy—it's the perspectives I’ve gained, the skills I gathered, and the acceptance of change that did.
Everything is fleeting, so the things that remained with me through this big, perplexing, doleful transition have become so much more meaningful. And, look at that, I guess the writing “spike” from high school stayed, too.