An Imperfect Guide to Being a Better Ally Under Occupation

Words from someone who is also learning

Carina Dieringer

This article is a message to white people. To those of us who can choose when to engage and disengage; To those of us who are not living with fear for our lives and our families: Wake up. Pay attention. Never let the fierce empathy and love you feel for others be taken away from you. Do not get swept up in the endless cycle of work and school and work and school and work and school.

You want to be a good ally? Start by paying attention.

Notice when you go home to your family and eat dinner and chat and laugh without worries. Notice when you leave the house without fear.

Notice the spaces you stand in, the restaurants and community spaces and circles of care, the spaces that you never cared for or paid attention to until they were targeted by violent occupation.

Notice how those who are essential to the community, those who upheld these spaces and filled them with vibrancy, are absent. Notice how your feet hold weight where someone else’s once did. Notice the space you fill that does not belong to you.

Notice how your so-called community of activists carries no “vulnerable” voices. People that are not vulnerable, not weak, but targeted. People that fought for you to live comfortably.

Notice when your neighbors, coworkers, classmates, and friends disappear. Notice when their families disappear. Notice the people who are left behind. Notice how your energy goes towards what is happening in the streets and not what happens beyond. Notice the lack of outrage surrounding the concentration camps; the slavery; the physical, mental, and emotional violence against people of color. Understand why that is. Know the history of this country.

Notice and be angry. Notice and unlearn it all. Be angry that you are complicit in the systems that made this possible. Be angry that your neighbors are forced to stay home while you can choose to go about your daily life mostly unaffected.

Use that anger to fuel your love to fuel your anger to fuel your actions. Fight with love. Love lost and love gained.

Change things. Be the one who wants to learn. Be the one to ask people of color what they need during this time. Be the one to call out spaces dominated by white voices. Be the one to stand by the side of those who are most affected.

Find those communities of people. Talk to your neighbors. Build relationships. Invest yourself in their joy. Love them. Cry with them. Show up. Show up. Show up.

Listen. Listen to what people of color have to say. Let their voices take the main stage when it comes to strategies, action, and activism. Let them guide your actions. You do not know more than those who have been dealing with this violence their whole lives. Know that none of this is new. You do not know what they need. You do not know what they need.

Fight, but do not turn attention towards yourself. Do not pat yourself on the back. You are not a savior. You are not a hero. You are not the protector of something fragile. You are simply a human who cares. A human who loves. You are there when you are needed and you are learning with every step you take.

Let the love you feel for your neighbors and friends show up in your actions. Use your money, your car, your resources, to support in every way that you can.

Finally, a word of acknowledgement from the author of this article. Because I am also white, my words may be (and probably are) faulty in many ways. I am nothing close to perfect. I am merely a human who cares about other humans. Don’t just listen to what I write. Get out of your house, out of your comfort zone, and be there for the people of color around you.

Never let your humanity be stolen by the white supremacy instilled in every system that makes up your life. The best time to unlearn what has been ingrained into you and show up for people of color may have been lifetimes ago, but the second best time is now.