Lady Whistledown’s Review of Friday Night’s Sleepover: 4/10

Lady Whistledown of Bridgerton offers a scathing review of Friday night’s festivities

By: Sophia Whelan

On the Monday of this week, some very promising invitations were delivered to a select lucky few girls from Mrs. Jackson’s class. As the week continued, this was anticipated to be the highlight of the fourth-grade season. Sadly, this event left much to be desired. 

Upon arrival, the over-exuberant family dog jumped on Miss Alexis's esteemed guests, sending a few of the young ladies into a frenzy and marking an undignified beginning to the evening. The snacks were notably lackluster, consisting only of apple slices forsaking even a morsel of peanut butter (to accommodate Maddie’s peanut allergy). The promised pizza was also notably underwhelming, delivered an hour late and a bit cooler than desired. Any other fun was hampered by Mrs. Johnson, who insisted on phones being collected in a basket and lights out by 10 p.m.

Perhaps the least disappointing aspect of the dreary festivities was the ample fodder for Monday morning gossip. Some of the guests behaved badly indeed. Slyly circumventing Mrs. Johnson’s insistence on a PG-rated movie, Alexis convinced her mother that “Pitch Perfect” was simply a movie about the trials and tribulations of being a part of a traveling gospel choir. Based on my observations at this event, it seems that Jillian was responsible for leaving the secret admirer note found in Josh’s locker on Thursday. A few sips of 2-liter Sprite smuggled in by Jillian and this lady’s become very loose-lipped indeed.