The Fabio Believers

Reminiscing on the weird, but very exclusive club I joined in 5th grade

By: Avery Wageman

As of today, I am proud to announce that I am the newest member of the Fabio Believers Club! One of my friends made it up because she thinks Fabio, a model for romance novel covers, is cool and invited me to join them at lunch today. It sounded fun and I’ve never been in a club before! I didn’t even know who Fabio was until today. I also don’t know what we believe in him for, but my friend showed me a picture of him and with that glossy, wind-swept hair, who wouldn’t believe?

Everyone in the Fabio Believers gets to be named after a celebrity, which I think is the coolest part. The other members are Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Taio Cruz, Enrique Iglesias, and Beyoncé. I was named Kesha because I guess I kinda look like her. I really like her song “TiK ToK,” so that’s cool. Tomorrow, I’m getting my official membership card printed when we go to the computer lab! All the other members already have their cards taped to their desks to show them off; I can’t wait to do that too! 

I’ve kinda been in between friend groups this year, so it’s nice to be asked to be a part of something. We believe in Fabio and we believe in each other. I wonder if the club will still be together in 10 years, or if we’ll look back fondly on this moment as a fleeting part of our existence. We pledged to forever believe in Fabio, but will we always believe in each other? Does Fabio believe in us? 

Ope, the bell for recess just rang! My friends and I are gonna pick up our four-square tournament. I guess my existential questions will have to wait.