What Isn’t Said About Catholic School

Who is at fault when disability interferes with tradition?

By: Vern Nowakowski

My elementary school experience was quite similar to the general American experience. I had recess, principals, school assemblies, coloring, etc. But one thing that was different is that I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to 12th grade. This is where my elementary education diverts from the standard track. We had weekly Mass, a campus pastor, vacation bible school, and confession. 

There are many positives to the Catholic elementary education system: training in standardized testing, high-level classes, volunteering experience, access to a strong community to fall back on (if you fit in), and great music. However, if you have ever asked a Catholic elementary school graduate about their experiences, you probably got the standard complaints: indoctrination, uncomfortable uniforms, boring Masses, pedophilia, and teachings against the LGBTQ+ community. 

While all of these topics are important, I have found that people never discuss ableism within the Catholic education system. The normalization of ableism begins during the elementary school years. While I have only experienced physical disability, it is not hard to see ableism against mental or educational disabilities. I can only speak on my experience, but I can say that I didn’t meet another physically disabled person until high school.

There is no easy way to explain the confusion of an elementary school student when they are suddenly afflicted with a physical disability. I, for one, cannot remember a time before my health problems started.

I have a disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome–Hypermobility Type. My soft tissue is overly fragile, which means that my joints will dislocate at random times. Fourth grade was when my disorder started to interfere with my education. That was the year when my knee had its first major dislocation. I continued to have these dislocations two times a month.

Fourth grade was also when the Presidential Fitness Tests started, which is standard in most schools. I cannot quantify the amount of time I spent with ice packs after them. 

If you have never attended Catholic Mass, there is a lot of kneeling involved. If you ever want to get a leg workout surrounded by gothic architecture, go to a Catholic Mass. Kneeling posture is quite important in Catholic schools. It is ingrained within each of the students with as much import as the ABCs. The wrists must be rested on the pew, not the elbows. The hands must be laced together or stood upright in prayer position. There is no slouching or resting on one’s heels. The teacher will either come and push you back up or nudge your back into a straight line with the pointer stick. There is no wiggle room for those who cannot maintain that posture.

As you can probably imagine, for a person whose joints have a hard time staying in place, this kneeling posture was almost impossible. The correction pointer and I were as thick as thieves. 

One year, I did not have to participate in standing and kneeling during Mass, due to an ankle and knee dislocation that was witnessed by my elementary school teacher. However, I was still subjected to the ridicule and judgment of the parishioners of the church. An older woman tapped me on my shoulder and voiced how rude and unprofessional I was being. My elementary school teacher pleasantly corrected the older woman and laughed it off. 

This is the problem with having a disability in the Catholic school system. The elementary years establish a feeling that it is the student’s fault for having a disability, not the old woman’s fault for shaming a child she didn’t know. The correction of kneeling posture is the student’s fault, not the posture’s fault. What isn’t said about Catholic school is that those of us with disabilities spend most of our time blaming ourselves for our disabilities instead of the systems and teachers that are meant to support us.