The COVID-19 college experience Fear of missing out during the pandemic

By: Madeleine Ware

For most students at the University of Minnesota, school feels different this year. The first few weeks, usually spent memorizing class schedules and catching up with friends, were solitary and socially distanced. Although students are trying their best to accept the realities of virtual human connection, smiles hidden behind masks, and days spent slumped over computers, there is also a sense of collective loss. American culture places such an importance on taking advantage of our youth that it’s hard to not feel lost in a time when social connection seems to be put on hold.

For their whole lives, students are conditioned for “the college experience,” whether they feel they are college-bound or not. Middle schoolers take trips to college lectures and prepare for standardized tests they will take years into the future, and high schoolers are bombarded with pamphlets and emails about universities and scholarship opportunities. College is not only about academic opportunity, it’s about the “college experience”: independence, self-exploration, and friendship.

For many students, college is the first time in their lives when they get to decide when and where they’ll do things, what their interests are, and who their people are. We are told by society that these opportunities will not come later in life. Within four short years, we are expected to decide not only what career we will go into, but also who we are. There is an assumption that by adulthood, we will have everything figured out, and there are few narratives that tell us otherwise. The narrative we are given is one in which we are employed by 25, married at 30, and have kids by 40.

When the immense societal pressure to take part in “the college experience” is revealed, it is easier to understand why so many colleges are struggling to keep their numbers of COVID-19 cases under control. Large social interactions are a staple of college life: frat parties, football games, and concerts are events that many college students take part in. The university also benefits from its positioning as a social center, and has rightfully been subjected to criticism for keeping large areas of social contact, such as dorms, open.

But what does this pressure mean for individual students? Often it means an internal battle between the fear of missing out and the realities of the COVID-19 pandemic. I want to go to concerts and have my toes stepped on in a violent mosh; I want to hug a stranger; I want to pass someone on the sidewalk without wondering if I should be farther away. I am so tired. I am tired of the constant uncertainty and misinformation, of not seeing my friends, of not living to the fullest. I miss the charm of vine-covered halls, bustling with people I’ll never know. I may have romanticized the college experience a bit too much. But I don’t think it’s wrong to mourn this lost time.

Things will not go back to normal for a while, and that’s okay. For now, normalcy is not the priority. The opportunities and experiences that we crave will still be waiting on the other side. Our youth has not been put on pause.