Breaking Free From Autopilot

How to practice mindfulness meditation (informally)

By: Emma Smisek

For many of us, the word “meditation” conjures images of Buddhist monks sitting in silence for days at a time in an ashram, or of yoga mat-wielding suburban women who say things like “I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual.” However, I came to understand meditation in a new way after taking a course in mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR). I took the course twice because I enjoyed it so much, and I found that mindfulness-styled meditation is not about attaining a grand mystical purpose. It’s about learning psychological flexibility—that is, learning how to accept and manage emotions by developing self-awareness. Briefly, mindfulness can be defined as “the awareness that arises by paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally” (Kabat-Zinn, 2013).

Learning formal meditation practices that integrated these concepts was central to our coursework. Ironically, however, trying to make time to meditate can be very stressful. One piece of advice my instructor gave was to simply wake up fifteen minutes earlier than I usually do every morning. Hypothetically, this would be nice, but the reality is that I already have to set about ten alarms in order to wake up at all.

This is where the beauty of informal meditation comes in. Mindfulness is not limited to formal practice; it can be done anytime, anywhere, during any activity. The only prerequisites are to be awake, breathing, and paying attention. From there, everything falls into place. Practicing mindfulness is the opposite of living on autopilot. It’s the act of paying attention to whatever is happening in the moment; it’s doing what you’re doing rather than being “somewhere else” mentally.

It’s been helpful for me to make a distinction between my “thinking self” and my “observing self.” The thinking self spends most of its time making judgments, wishing things were different, and planning. The observing self, on the other hand, is the curious scientist: it steps back and takes notes on what we are thinking and feeling.

Say you’re doing something tedious—a chore like washing the dishes. Tune in to the moment, and your observing self might notice emotions like “bored,” or thoughts like “I wish I were doing something else.” Then direct your attention to the movements you’re making with the sponge, the way water falls off the dishes, the soap becoming sudsier. Pay attention to the physical sensations and to your feet making contact with the floor and holding you upright. When your mind wanders, bring awareness back to your breath. 

This kind of meditative state is also described as “grounding.” I think of it as a way to catch myself from floating away; from being trapped in a spiral of emotions; from believing the judgmental stories my thinking self tells me; from feeling disconnected with reality. 

As many of us have been staying at home for weeks without going to work or school, time can seem fuzzy. It’s hard to remember what day it is because they all blend together. It may seem silly, but one thing that has helped keep me grounded is to remind myself what day it is as soon as I wake up. For example: “I am awake now, today is Monday, and it’s the beginning of a new day.”

We spend most of our time either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It seems as though our minds are always either far ahead of us and we can never catch up or stuck in the past and refuse to catch up with us. This often causes us to go through the motions, but when we’re on autopilot all the time, we miss what is happening. Autopilot is partly the result of feeling like there isn’t enough time for everything to be done—but there’s always time to practice non-judgmental awareness. Practicing mindfulness in everyday activities is freeing because it allows us to exist outside of time. 

We are not “losing” time by practicing non-doing. On the contrary, more time is “lost” when our minds speed far ahead of us—because when we spend our lives in the past or the future, we’re not living in the present.