Letter to the Coming Year

By: Stella Mehlhoff

Our Future

College Experience, Apt. 2021-22

Minneapolis, MN 55454

dear coming year,

for what it’s worth, i have some requests:

this year, i want to be so close to that asshole in my discussion that i can read his snarky texts to his mom over his shoulder

i want to take sips out of someone else’s water bottle

and sit next to the man on the bus who won’t stop talking even though i’ve stopped listening

i want to turn to the girl next to me on my first day and say “hey, is this intro to fiction?”

and for her to say “um… no”

i want to wear out my sneakers just walking to class

and suddenly panic before my lunch date because did we agree to meet at the union or dinkytown??

i want to awkwardly ask “is anybody sitting here?” to that cute person in my science class

and then accidentally bump their leg while trying to set up my freaking desk

i want to walk into the dining hall when all my friends are busy 

and wonder where the hell i should sit

i want to agonize over which tank top i’m going to wear in the morning

and then be that one chick who clearly didn’t look at her weather app

i want to read way too much into my daily interactions with the barista

and make an uncomfortable amount of eye contact

i want to get kind of excited when i’m home alone for the night

and for binge-watching an entire season of the great british bake off to be a novelty 

i want to end up with a cold (just a cold)

and instead of googling my symptoms, pop an advil and get over it 

i want to get bored listening to my great uncle’s stories

and cancel plans knowing i’ll get another chance

i want to cry in my dorm room and call my mom

because i really wasn’t ready for that much independence

i want to have my arm fall asleep underneath someone else’s

i want to breathe the same air, even knowing how gross that is

i want to miss my parents… and get sick of my friends

i want to be young and unwise

i want my problems to be inconveniences 

i want to be annoyed about all these things

i want... to take something for granted.

but i know i’m being too greedy.

and i’d have learned nothing if i settled for ignorant bliss

so i guess, if i must, i’ll just ask for this:

dear coming year, 

i want to be hopeful

i want to keep seeing the people i love

i want to have reached the “other side” of last year’s abyss.

sincerely,

stella mehlhoff