Racial Preferences
Just Your “Type” or Justifications for Stereotypes?
By: Beryl Belmonte
Whether we admit it or not, many of us have used a dating app at some point in our college experience. They offer the convenience of swiping through the entire student body in a matter of minutes and finding a match from the comfort of our twin XL beds. However, with just a few pictures and a short biography to consider, these apps encourage us to judge books by their covers and make unsubstantiated decisions—some of which revolve around race. The morals of racial preferences have been debated for quite some time, with some arguing that their ethnic “type” is based on natural feelings of attraction they cannot control. But is it possible that these instinctual desires may actually be conditioned biases in disguise?
On the surface, a racial dating preference rests on the idea that an individual’s racial identity affects how desirable they are as a potential romantic partner. This in itself implies that people of the same race are a monolith—that they all hold identical physical, emotional, and social characteristics that make them more or less attractive to people of other races. And often accompanying this implied universality are underlying racial stereotypes. Perhaps your type is someone more masculine, so you tend to swipe left on Asian men that you view as “effeminate.” Maybe you get along well with mellow people, so you are wary of the “angry Black women” or the “spicy Latinas.” By making these superficial assumptions about people based on their race before you even have the chance to start a conversation with them, you start to cross the line between preference and prejudice.
Furthermore, it is very important to differentiate between a racial preference and a racial requirement. When people have bios on their dating profile saying they are only looking for white partners, instantly swipe left on anyone who doesn’t fit their racial “preference,” and/or change their app settings to filter out people of color, this is undoubtedly an act of textbook discrimination. People are being purposefully excluded from someone’s dating pool solely because of a singular factor they cannot control. This upholds a fixed racial hierarchy—often rooted in white supremacy—that makes it impossible for people to cross the boundaries of their “subordinate” positions in this hierarchy. Within this rigid system, being a certain race has become a prerequisite that, if left unmet, conclusively deems people as unattractive or undeserving of an intimate relationship.
Racial preferences can also be harmful to those who are deemed to be more desirable. As a female-presenting Asian who has used their fair share of dating apps, I have received multiple messages fetishizing me based on my race. It was not uncommon for me to read opening lines like: “I’ve never f*cked an Asian...wanna be my first?” and “We would make the cutest Wasian babies ;).” To them, I am simply seen as a submissive object to fulfill their sexual fantasies, a conquest to check off their bucket list. This has made it difficult for me to trust people, as I can no longer tell whether they are genuinely attracted to me as an individual or as an object of their erotic desires.
While many racial preferences come from a place of prejudice, I believe some come from a place of survival. Considering the amount of racism and hypersexualization that people of color face—especially on dating apps where people can hide behind a screen—I can see why they may prefer to match with people within their own race. Constantly being subjected to racial stereotypes and having to be cautious about people’s true intentions can be emotionally taxing. Therefore, utilizing racial filters on dating apps may be used to combat dating apps’ predominantly white algorithm, and swiping right on more people of color may be an attempt at finding matches who are better able to empathize with their experiences in the dating field.
In the end, it is not up to me to assess people’s dating history and decide whether or not to call them out for being racist. I understand that many of our preferences are influenced by the societal messages we’re involuntarily exposed to and the social environments we’ve familiarized ourselves with. So instead, I’m taking the opportunity to call you in and ask you to reflect on the preferences that influence your decisions on dating apps. Although we may not have consciously decided to hold these stereotypical beliefs, we are still responsible for identifying them and acting against our implicit biases. Take a few extra minutes before swiping left or right to think about what your “gut feelings'' about someone are truly based on. Are you seeing someone as an individual or are you seeing them as just another member of a racial group?