The Ultimate Guide to Making and Keeping “School Friends”
How to talk to people in classes and pace situational friendships
BY CARLY BERGLUND
Well, University of Minnesota students, here we are again. We’re fully back in person for another semester at our lovely university. We’ve been met with another grab at the greatest opportunity of our college careers: the time to make friends. And yes, making friends through joining clubs and extracurricular activities is a fantastic way to get involved - we know this, and we’re good at this. So far this year, I’ve noticed we aren’t as gifted at making friends where we spend the majority of our time: when we’re actually in school. Making friends during classes can seem overwhelming, which is why I’ve dedicated my first two weeks of classes to learning the ins and outs of making school friends and then, luckily for you, put all of my efforts into this easy guide for all of you to follow.
Phase One: Making Friends
Step 1: Go to class! Everyday!
Create a habit of going to class every day. Not only will this help your academics (Remember? The reason why we’re all here?), but it will also help you get to know the people in your class better. Also - duh - how would you expect to make school friends without going to school in the first place?
Step 2: Sit in the same area every class.
I’ve found through my various in-person classes here that people generally sit in the same spot in class every day. Maybe you’ll switch it up the first few times you’re warming up to your classes, but establish your spot by the third week of school. You’ll be surrounded by the same people each time you come to class, and you will begin to recognize them in no time at all.
Step 3: Bring a conversation to class.
It’s a handy trick to have a back-pocket subject to discuss with the people who sit next to you. You may ask yourself, “But what if I’m shy?” or “What if I don’t have anything to talk about?” but you already have something in common with them: the class! Ask about assignments, ask for a pencil to borrow, ask anything! If you’re feeling brave, give a shot at talking about something other than your class. People always have questions. And people love to respond to questions they know the answers to. Maybe your future best friend is wearing a cool ring - tell them their ring is cool. The sky's the limit!
Phase Two: Taking the Friendship Outside the Classroom
Step 4: Continue the conversation.
Remember what I said about bringing the conversation to class? Keep doing that. Now that the initial awkwardness is over, you can rely on saying hellos and “Have a good weekend!” to your acquaintance, but it's up to you to keep the banter alive. I wish I could provide you with more concrete advice for this step, but each friendship is different. It’s best to let each of your friendships blossom in its way.
Step 5: Schedule some errands.
Awesome! You’re on step five. At this point, you and your new school friend are likely talking quite a bit. Maybe you’re even walking out of the classroom together! Here’s where conveniently having some errands can come in handy. For example, maybe while walking out of class, you mention you need to stop at the bookstore in the Union. This is where our friendship can take two paths. The first option is your friend politely declines your offer, and you remain best school friends until the end of the semester. On the other hand, the best case scenario is your new friend accepts to accompany you on XYZ errand, and you both continue to have a prosperous friendship!
Step 6: Seal the deal.
If your friend has decided to accompany you on your mundane errand running, then congratulations, you are real friends. You’ve broken past the classroom walls and have established your true friendship connection. There’s only one step left to complete, and it is what truly seals your friendship for eternity: add your friend on Snapchat. Creating a new contact for your friend ensures you’ll always be able to reach them, even long after the semester is over. Once added, your friendship will live on in each other’s Snap stories forever and ever.
Step 7: Relax.
You’ve done it. You can finally call yourself a professional at making friends in any classroom you enter. The greatest part about all of this is that next semester; you get to do it all again (and if you’re an underclassman, again, again, and again)! I hope you have found this guide helpful and that your efforts in class bring you the greatest school friends in the world.