An Approachability Aesthetic (With Personality)

How should we conduct ourselves in an aesthetic-based society? Do personality and aesthetics intersect?

BY DEZ ULRICH

Are people meant to judge and interact with one another based on appearance? No, it’s supposed to be what’s underneath: the personality. However, first impressions based entirely on personalities is unrealistic, making one’s presentation of themselves matter to a degree.

So, how do you make your presentation matter? Perhaps you enjoy VSCO with scrunchies and oversized shirts; a cottage core lover with old fashioned, soft rural theme clothing; or even a skater with high tops, flannels and beanies. Aesthetics. Through all the Pinterest boards, Instagram posts and photoshoots, I’ve come to realize that one’s aesthetic is a purely personal choice of self-expression. Even more so, it’s a visual form of self-expression: an art form.

However, society’s reactions to aesthetics make them feel as though they’re distributions to an unspoken norm. Almost as though there’s a war between personal taste and aesthetics, it’s like society is pushing judgment onto an individual based on their aesthetic presentation. For example, why can’t people be cool and goth without others being sacred and avoiding interactions? Why are goth aesthetics seen as unapproachable? Is not being approachable the point of the aesthetic?

The world seems to base an individual’s approachability on their appearance, especially with aesthetics. For example, certain aesthetics like goth are surrounded by a fearsome connotation because they may look intimidating, especially to those uninitiated. Yet, the goth aesthetic is meant to be a visual reaction of one’s emotions to goth music, a specific music-based subculture. Therefore, like every other aesthetic, goth is meant to go beyond how one dresses, even if the aesthetic is primarily signaled by one’s clothes and style. Unfortunately, society sees goth aesthetics as the entire subculture as everyone associates traits with appearance. Through the lack of understanding of the subculture, society simply judges aesthetics, such as goth, with naivety. 

For this article, let’s define this as aesthetic judgment. The initial impressions and judgments of the aesthetics are based on the visual aesthetic. What society fails to realize is that people’s aesthetics are art forms, and there is an artist behind the art. If people wanted to be unapproachable, they could dress in goth, but to truly understand their unapproachability, one must witness their words, actions, or even mannerisms. So this is for those who dress in goth: you have no right to be judged on your aesthetic and viewed as unapproachable unless that is your goal; that is something which you should go about with your actions instead. Meaning, if you desire to be cool and goth so society can be scared and avoid you, then you’re more than welcome to present yourself that way.

If thinking beyond the goth concept, I wonder about all aesthetics. If goth aesthetics are a subculture, could all aesthetics simply be just niches for people? One could consider aesthetics as a form of escapism, going beyond the mundane clothing trends picked up and discarded frequently like trash. Instead, is it an aesthetic’s purpose to create a timeless, fantastical trend and an excuse to take cute photos/selfies with oneself? If this is the case, perhaps it explains why I see a stronger aesthetic-based presence online as opposed to in person. Aesthetics such as cottagecore and dark academia consume my Pinterest feed every day, but I feel as though I’ve only witnessed two outfits I truly see as goth aesthetics twice in person. Also, I feel as though this is a common occurrence: society sees more aesthetic-based clothing online than in person. Does this online-primacy trigger judgment when aesthetics are witnessed in real life? Is judgment the shock factor that comes with the reality of it? Are trends just forms of aesthetics normalized by society?

Honestly, I could not give you a definitive answer, but I do believe all of these variables play significant roles. I believe almost anything becomes an aesthetic: we take a concept and label it, categorizing and labeling other objects just so they correspond. As a result, people’s approachability and personality should not be based on their aesthetics; if anything, aesthetics should be respected. We should rely on the iconic, “it’s the beauty and personality underneath,” but the aesthetic is still emphasized because an individual’s self-expression is a form of visual art. Maybe instead, we can initiate a concept of “the approachability aesthetic,” where we all embrace a feeling of approachability with others' aesthetics.