Love is Having Many Names For One Thing
Love is the intimacy of sharing an orange
By Rachel Hoppe
I find it hard at times to define exactly what love is. Yes, it is deeply caring for those important to you, but that doesn’t do justice to how deeply I love others. I love so strongly to the point where it aches deep in my chest. I do more than care for the people I love, which is why I struggle to define it so much.
If I had to choose a word to describe love I think I would say “orange.” Jean Little’s poem titled “Oranges” led me to this conclusion.
I peel oranges neatly.
The sections come apart cleanly, perfectly in my hands.
When Emily peels an orange, she tears holes in it.
Juice squirts out in all directions.
“Kate,” she says, “I don’t know how you do it!”
Emily is my best friend.
I hope she never learns how to peel oranges.
This, I feel, is exactly what love is. Love is the little ways we help each other out. It is the unspoken agreement of give-and-take within a relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic. Love, to me, is helping a loved one peel an orange. Separating it into halves and sharing the fruit in a meal between loved ones.
The most fulfilling connections I have made are the ones where we develop an unspoken understanding. We don’t need to ask how we can help each other, we just know. To have a friend that peels your orange without having to ask is an intimacy that we don’t appreciate enough.
My roommate and I have a mutual understanding that she vacuums our carpet and I clean the bathroom. Of all household chores, vacuuming is the bane of my existence, while scrubbing the bathroom sink and counter is hers. Without having to communicate this agreement we fell into a routine of her vacuuming and me cleaning the bathroom sink. She is truly my best friend in every definition of the word and our ability to express ourselves to each other without ever having to say a word reinforces this for me.
I see this kind of love everywhere. I hear it in the comfortable silence when my friends and I walk through the Knoll to get dinner. I feel it when it’s a given that my friends from home will visit me when they’re in Minneapolis. When it’s understood that my best friend can drive when we hang out, and I can buy his coffee because I have an intense fear of driving.
Mutual agreements like these remind me that love is found in the mundane, not just in grand gestures. To want to be with someone, to want to do a small favor just because you know they’d appreciate it, is just as lovely as a dramatic declaration of love and appreciation.
We all deserve someone we know we can share an orange with. For this reason, I hope you can peel it well enough to share it.