Return of the Dream Canteen
Red Hot Chili Pepper’s second bad album of the year
BY ABBY VELA
I am not a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan and will never claim to be. I have unabashedly poked fun at multiple close friends for their love of a band that peaked twenty years ago. It’s become my signature move to rip on this ‘rock legend.’ How could I not? The first single to their first album this year, Unlimited Love, was sung in a pirate accent…
However, you know how the saying goes: keep your friends close and enemies closer. It was my duty as a hater to review their new album, Return of the Dream Canteen. Originally, I wasn’t going to listen to it but rather joke about it when my friends called it a funk-rock masterpiece. Imagine my surprise when they tell me that this album is a dumpster fire in a vat of toxic waste. Of course, I would listen to it now!
Despite their pleas and cries requesting that this not be the Chili Peppers album I reviewed, I couldn’t help myself. The unsavory melodies of Anthony Kiedis were calling out to me from that dumpster fire, so like a pirate to a siren’s song; I dove into the abyss.
Right off the bat, with the first song, “Tippa My Tongue,” the album pulls you in with a pop-punk build-up. “To what?” one could ask. I’m asking that, too, as the song plunges into a funk instrumental and something akin to infantile babbling. Nonsensical lyrics and funk stressing are something that I’d attribute to most Chili Peppers songs, but with this opener—and pretty much all of the songs on Return, for that matter—the execution is so over-the-top that it’s comical. It reminds me of those projects in high school where instead of a chemistry exam, you had to make a song: always ridiculous and always bad
Some of the moments I’ve noted throughout this album is the variety of inspiration for each song. While each song is distinctly Red Hot Chili Peppers, hints of 90s grunge, psychedelic rock, indie, electronic, shoegaze, 80s New wave, and even country find their way onto this record. Now, I’d usually call this diversity in sound a good thing. But in this case, I’m not so sure. Instead of making the sounds their own and fitting them into their aesthetic, these inspirations either feel corny or like a funk-rendition cover band.
“La La La La La La La” sounds like if Bo Burnum and Coldplay had a terrible, terrible love child who found God and joined a Christian rock group; “Reach Out” and “Bag of Grins” an unsavory cross between Alice in Chains, Muse, and Nirvana with 90s power chords and melancholic minor keys—things that, at least in my opinion, don’t belong anywhere near a Red Hot Chili Peppers’ song.
My largest grievances with their production choices are with songs like “My Cigarette” and “In the Snow” that opt for electronic percussion. Rather than frustration, I find myself confused. It’s somewhat of a given that the guitar, bass, and drums are insanely talented in their technical skills, so why would this well-established band known for this talent opt for electronic backing? That is not to say electronic or synth-based instruments aren’t difficult or worthy of attention, but for a band to completely U-turn from their established sound to sound ‘relevant’ or ‘with the times' is completely ridiculous, especially for a well-loved band like Red Hot Chili Peppers. It’s upsetting, and I see why long-time fans have their grievances about this release.
Although I’ve been thoroughly shitting on this album, I would like to acknowledge that there are great moments in this release (though few and far between). As said before, the instrumentation on this album is very complex and technically fantastic; the skill that these musicians have honed over the years is not something to be dismissed. Along with that, the song “Eddie” is solid and, dare I say, good. Its lyrics are just as nonsensical as the rest, the instrumentation is gorgeous with the shimmering and nearly bell-like guitar, arpeggio bassline, and simple drum drive make this song stick out as an example of why the Chili Peppers are so many people’s favorite band. With this song being one of the first in the album, fourth on the tracklist, I was scared that I had judged this band all wrong. Unfortunately, the subsequent songs did not live up to the standard “Eddie” had set.
Return of the Dream Canteen perhaps marks a turning point for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I would never wish for the downfall of any band just because I didn’t like their music, but I can’t imagine how Chili Peppers will move forward from here. To me, they have always been a band that peaked with their releases in the mid-2000s, and I can confirm that I still agree with my prior assessment. This album is nothing new, interesting, nor good enough to write home about unless you plan to laugh at it. In that case, I hope my thoughts have added fuel to your fire.