A Gen-Xer amidst the Gen Z
A bystander amidst activists in a society of shame
By Vishalli Alagappan
As I scrolled through TikTok aimlessly one weekend, I came across a video of the infamous @thatveganteacher. Ms. Kadie Karen Diekmeyer, better known as @thatveganteacher on TikTok, is an elementary school teacher who creates TikToks that promote veganism in an unusual manner. In the particular video that I encountered, Ms. Kadie replies to a comment that said, “It’s ok to be vegan, and it’s ok to not be vegan. It’s your choice.” Ms. Kadie then compares the commenter to a racist and homophobe based on the assumption that the commenter does not care about animals. She even went to the lengths of saying that veganism is the only pathway to heaven. As a recent vegetarian convert myself, I do not advocate for vegetarianism or veganism by shaming others. In fact, I do not advocate for this lifestyle at all. I do believe that veganism can be beneficial to the environment, but I do nothing to promote it. This realization felt like a threat to my ego. I felt like a Gen-Xer in a Gen Z world. My brain overrode this feeling and defended my intrinsic worth by concluding that Ms. Kadie was delusional. I scrolled away with an air of dismissal and a protected ego. Such unconscious conclusions are very common when shame is so pervasive in activism.
Shame in activism can be as direct as Ms. Kadie telling you that you need to be vegan to get to heaven or as indirect as an activist holding a banner telling you why they want to hold a certain authority accountable. However, it is important to distinguish being shamed and feeling shame in activism. Michael Apathy, an ecotherapist at Lucid Psychotherapy and Counseling, describes such an anecdote on his company’s website. He illustrates his interaction with a woman waiting to cross a busy intersection while he holds up a banner that promotes fossil fuel divestment. Apathy explains that ANZ bank had invested over 13.5 billion in fossil fuels, and that to reduce global warming, the coal must stay in the ground. The woman replies, “We’re all funding it, so what do you think you’re going to accomplish?” The lights change and the woman walks away unconvinced. In the scenario with Ms. Kadie, it is apparent that she is shaming her audience and alienating them, whereas with Apathy holding a sign to promote fossil fuel divestment, no one is being morally targeted. To understand the shame in this incident, we must analyze the manner in which the woman reacted. She clearly cared enough about environmental issues to engage in a conversation affirming climate change, but she could not support the sensible solution of divesting fossil fuels. The woman attacks and devalues Apathy’s work—a shame-based response.
The woman’s thought process during this incident is similar to mine during my TikTok scrolling. The “I believe in this cause, and I do nothing” realization threatens our intrinsic worth. The shame associated with this realization makes us question how our inactivity reflects on our identity. This shame is difficult to cope with and invokes destructive responses like invalidating the work of another or concluding another is delusional.
There is a popular parallel between shame in activism and the prison-industrial complex. The retributive model of justice heavily relies on shame and does not address the cause of the crimes and may even exacerbate the issues. When translated to activism, the retributive model looks like Ms. Kadie’s TikTok page where she responds to negative comments in a punitive fashion and further alienates non-vegan members of her audience by structuring her advocacy around shame-based attempts at changing the behavior of others. The alternative, the restorative model of justice, focuses on the behavior that has caused harm and addresses the needs of the victim, offender, and broader community. Although this may not be the perfect model of justice, it has shown significant decreases in the rates of recidivism in offenders. When the restorative model of justice is translated to activism, the answer presents itself as empathy.
Apathy wrote that he wishes he had told the woman the following statement instead of simply defending his position: “We can really feel hopeless in the face of climate change, like nothing makes a difference... and it still feels important that we don’t let our message get silenced.” Apathy elaborated on why “empathy is the antidote to shame” in saying that there are numerous activists out there who have burnt out or who have never started their activism because they push back against the feeling of unworthiness and shame in the face of extensive systematic challenges of our society.
Activism is more important to our generation than ever before, and shame is so normalized within activist circles that we often fail to address it. As advocates we need to work towards dealing with conflict compassionately and justly and be aware of the role that shame can play in activism.