Old Spaces, New Faces

Being at home is weird, and so is living like your old self did

By Jemma Keleher

If you’re anything like me, you, too, have returned to living in your hometown in the wake of the current global crisis. We’ve gone from our beloved campus homes— alive with fun, people, and the screeching of the green line—to the quiet, controlled life we lived not so long ago. 

For me, this move has brought into focus how much has changed since I moved to campus and subsequently stopped being my sixteen-year-old self (finally). Things aren’t as serious as I once thought they were, and that realization has propelled me into a different headspace altogether. Being back within a space that was once my entire reality has felt simultaneously like a walk down memory lane and a car crash with a history bus. 

It hit me in different stages, as all meaningful movie moments do. Walking into my bedroom that I designed in high school—and afterward cried in far too often—felt like getting thrown into a time vacuum. Opening Tinder only to realize that I knew every person I swiped on felt like a cruel joke. Looking through my closet when I ran out of clothes was like shopping in a time capsule—and not in a cute way.

Moving home for this temporary period and living in the patterns of your younger self is jarring. Even so, it’s an opportunity to reflect on how you have evolved since leaving the person you once were. You’ve changed, and now you can realize just how much that was necessary. 

And sure, things have changed since this was your permanent home—maybe your entire personality—but in this place, the old you still exists and inhabits your walls. Reconnecting with your past self and understanding that they are part of you despite your differences is an important step towards accepting who you are.