New Heroics
Masculinity, femininity, and a new wave of political leadership.
By: Stella Mehlhoff
When I was little, I was convinced that one day I would be some kind of hero. I distinctly remember going to see one of the Narnia movies in the theater. During the huge, climactic battle at the end, I stood up on my chair, raised my arm, and shouted “CHARGE!” at the top of my four-year-old lungs. But, as with many childhood dreams, I was taught as I got older that I would probably never be the one carrying the sword. Often being described as “sweet” and “sensitive,” I could never fit into the “man-in-charge” archetype we expect from our real-life leaders. My characteristics, and those associated with femininity as a whole, have always come with the assumption that leadership, and by extension politics, are beyond me. For a while, I let this weigh me down, but then I began to realize: maybe I’m not the side of this equation that needs to change. As a society, we have an outdated set of criteria for leaders—and the men we pick are destined to be our downfall.
To gain further insight, we can look to research conducted by professors Andrea Vial and Jamie Naiper of Yale University and New York University Abu Dhabi, respectively. In a recent study, participants were asked to design their ideal leader by ranking the traits they valued most. Most participants valued traditionally masculine traits, like confidence, competition, and aggression, over traditionally feminine traits, like communiality and compassion. In other words, concern for others was deemed disposable. Some saw this as proof that women who want to be leaders should cater to these expectations. I see it as evidence that, in our leaders, most are willing to sacrifice decency for the appearance of strength.
And while I wish it wasn’t true, our recent political climate supports my interpretation. Consider the pattern of leadership failures we’ve experienced. Donald Trump: a man keen on projecting a tough, invincible image—even at the expense of sacrificing lives. Andrew Cuomo: a charismatic man who got the attention of the nation during COVID-19, but failed over and over again to show real respect for women behind the scenes. Brett Kavanaugh: who as a Supreme Court Justice is supposed to be a symbol of balance and fairness, but instead is an all too familiar representation of how much a man can get away with. Remember, these people did not come upon positions of power by chance. From Trump, to Cuomo, to Kavanaugh… Masculinity. Aggression. Domination. These are the values that have defined a generation of leaders. As the American public, I hope we’ve learned our lesson.
The good news is that change is coming. We can look to the success and public recognition earned by Jacinda Ardern. An unconventionally calm, compassionate leader, Ardern has demonstrated that softness isn’t just fluff, but rather an essential way to connect in times of crisis. Her blend of competence and sensitivity in response to COVID-19, crime, and climate change have introduced to the world stage a refreshing role model. In her New York Times article, “What Makes a Good Leader, and Who Gets to Be One,” Francesca Donner helps us define this new ideal of leadership, one that, in her words, “is about listening, not talking. It’s about compassion, empathy and humility. It’s about understanding that power is amplified when it’s shared.” I don’t know about you, but to me, that sounds pretty damn good.
This past year, I was captain of my high school speech team. It may seem like a small thing, but it made an impact. This role gave me an opportunity to not only shape a respectful community, but also to dismantle my own misunderstandings of leadership. And if I was lucky enough to give someone else permission to see their power, like Ardern did for me, then my little victory is a sign of larger progress. All this to say, as a generation, let it be our obligation to trust ourselves more than the status quo—and redefine what a hero is to us.