Is Living at Home in College Really the Worst Thing?
Letting go of the idea of the “real college experience”
By: Shannon Brault
College is seen as a right of passage to get out of your parents’ house, an act that is equated with growing up. I’ve been in college for three years now and for two of those, I’ve lived in my childhood bedroom in my childhood home. I am so thankful for that and so over the question I get all too often: “Aren’t you afraid of not having the ‘real college experience?’”
Besides the fact that I hate the term, it can and does send me into a spiral sometimes. So far I haven’t lived in an apartment or house with three to six of my closest friends, only eating ramen because I can’t afford rent. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t had experiences living outside of the house and that doesn’t mean I am not “growing up.”
I started college in 2019 at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire where I had a nightmare experience in the dorms. There were a lot of reasons why I transferred after a single semester. One of which was the fact that I was forced to move out of my dorm room for reasons that would require another story, but trust me, it was horrible and degrading. On the last day of the semester, I got the help of some friends, packed up my dorm room into the back of my Honda CRV, and drove back to Minneapolis.
Moving home was an adjustment and something that I saw as temporary. I planned on moving out after the first semester. But eight weeks after I transferred, the pandemic reached Minnesota and everything was moved online. There wasn’t a chance in the world that I was going to move into an apartment with people who didn’t take the pandemic seriously, especially when I had no reason to be on campus except the supposed “real college experience.”
Fast forward to fall 2021, when I moved into the dorms again, but this time at the University of Minnesota. I was a Community Advisor, something that I desperately wanted to work out and something that I have wanted to do for a long time. It only lasted for three months, ending with me resigning from the position at Thanksgiving due to problems with my housing and leaving me with nowhere else to go besides home.
Finding an apartment near the university with your own room will cost you at least $700, if not more. Living with roommates means that a lot of your downtime doesn't feel like downtime because you are still surrounded by other people. When you’re already paying $20,000+ in tuition and fees a year, an additional $10,000 in living expenses feels a bit insurmountable to me.
The thing is, I don’t mind living at home. I have a good relationship with my family, which I know I am lucky to have. I have my dog, a full room to myself, a kitchen to cook in, access to a car, and my rent isn’t $800 a month to get an ounce of privacy in the world of college apartment and dorm living.
As an extroverted introvert, I really value my personal space and really need it. Living in the dorms both times was filled with constant knocking on my door to ask me questions and people wanting to know what was up when I wasn’t always willing to talk. I would get overwhelmed when it felt like none of my time was my own anymore. In college, when our schedules are filled with classes, internships, work, passion projects, friends, volunteering, and more, I don’t think we value time with ourselves enough.
While I sometimes wish I had a more “traditional” college experience in the housing world and experience FOMO, I am thankful to have my own space and thus my own privacy. The typical “college experience” you see on Instagram (and whatever else that is supposed to mean) is what I’ve been scared that I’ve been missing out on. But is there really one college experience that is more valid than all the others? And is mine really less valid because I live at home, which also happens to be the healthiest living environment I’ve had?