Addressing The Fears We Don’t Address
By Isabella Terzian with art by Brooke Lambrecht
It is human nature to fear the unknown and the unfamiliar. In contrast, what is known and familiar deep within ourselves can be the most intimidating. The fear of tangible anomalies such as the open-water oceans or the infinite galaxies that seem to contradict every construct we know can seem minuscule when compared to substantial self-evaluation. Self-reflective fear can exist in several vessels: Fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of not being as great as we think we are, or maybe even the fear that we are incapable of genuine love. The fears we avoid addressing are often the most unforgiving reflections of parts of ourselves that we’re afraid to address, internally and externally.
The fears we don’t address often stem from elements of denial. It’s comfortable to exist in this state of denial and distract ourselves with noise to drown out the parts of ourselves that we’d rather not address. Denying the reality of a circumstance is a common defense mechanism that we use in an attempt to diffuse anxiety, resolve emotional conflict, and avoid unforgiving revelations. Denial relieves us of the guilt we may carry and the internal problems we cultivate. Frankly, it takes less effort to ignore an issue than to deeply address it. Though denial may act as a crutch for a gradual adjustment into a healing process, the risk of self-sabotage stands proudly when using denial as a coping mechanism. Eliminating this habit, at least when it's being used alongside its toxicities, is a difficult process that may not immediately stick without slipping out of control. It’s important to be patient with yourself and always allow yourself to heal. Addressing the suffering we are putting ourselves or others through is going to allow us to create the best version of ourselves by giving up the resources we need to grow.
When we don’t physically or mentally address the fear that exists within ourselves, we are able to create a facade that veils the existence of these fears. Alongside the denial of certain fears even being there at all, simply avoiding addressing them in any way can take away the relevance that they may hold in your mind: If I can’t see them, they can’t see me, right? Ducking away from your fears only empowers them to be further manifested in the darker parts of yourself that resurface when facing a vulnerable situation. Pushing fears into an unheard-of area of the mind is another way to dissociate from reality while wedging parts of ourselves from each other, The behavior that refuses to acknowledge the fears that we hold inside of us alludes to states of self-loathing, insecurity, and eventual projection. Self-awareness is as daunting as it is unappeasable, but it carves a substantial path to overcoming the fear of addressing our fears.
There are several ways to overcome the polarizing repercussions of the defense mechanism, but an outstanding method of breaking the habit is to use silence as your superpower. Silence is a catalyst for thought- the absence of outside noise allows you to be still with yourself. Allowing yourself to become in tune with your body, considering the healthiness of your habits, and dignifying your emotions are steps to connecting to parts of yourself that will showcase the most honest version of yourself. A comforting aspect of unaddressed fear is the lack of self-depreciation that comes out protects our pride and ego. Battling your own ego is quite possibly one of the most difficult means of grounding there is, and the loss of (perhaps unfounded) pride can be devastating. However, when we shield the pride and ego we boast about, we further enable our insecurities with the underlying knowledge that there is more to what meets the eye. Addressing fear is how we grow; When we allow our fears to cultivate and seep into our growing inner perception of ourselves, we keep that fear above us and remain vulnerable. The fears we face are what keep us from prevailing; They keep us from growing. A part of growth is addressing what is hindering it face-to-face and with regard to all elements that may stand in its way. Fear is inevitable, but the efforts one may take to overcome are far from futile.