Skills Lost and Found

We are exactly who we are meant to be

By Ashley Sudeta

I can recall the smell of the garage and the sliding of cardboard over concrete. Standing on the stairs in socks, but no shoes. Watching my dad change the oil was a sort of magical experience, the way childhood memories often are. When he finally slid out from under his truck, he always told my brothers and I how, when we were older, he would teach us to change a car’s oil. I loved that promise, imagining myself staring unflinchingly into the mechanisms of the truck and understanding them.

Changing the oil seemed to reach beyond saving money. It was self-sufficiency and strength. To do the task was to appreciate your belongings and good fortune. These were traits passed down the family in the same way my grandpa taught my dad how to change the oil.

I never found out what age was “old enough” to first learn to change a car’s oil. My parents replaced our truck with one that had touchscreen, Bluetooth, and required a special tool to open its metal guts. Oil changes happened at a shop, behind doors. I used to ask myself who I could have been if I could change a car’s oil. Would I be a stronger, more capable person? Would I have been better?

Those were silly questions. My dad wasn’t going to teach me to be tough and determined by showing me how to change a car’s oil. He taught me those traits every day. We don’t become who we are through singular events, we’re built gradually. It doesn’t matter that I can’t work on a car because I show my grit and ambition in other ways. There is no grease when I finish writing this article, but it still contains all the strength and pride I was raised to have.