I Love Suffering!

But I’m trying to choose gentleness

Ashley Sudeta

Last semester was really hard for me, and it’s taken too long for me to admit this to myself.  I told myself things weren’t difficult, it was my fault I wasn’t measuring up. Acknowledging your limits feels strange, especially when they aren’t where you’d like them to be. When simple tasks suddenly felt impossible, I felt like I was a bad person for it, and was destined to fall short of my dreams. I accepted this idea as truth far too easily, but am only now trying to fight it..

One thing that allowed this state to persist was that I didn’t want to make things easier for myself. I had always been taught that difficulties build resilience and strength. If I wanted to become a “good” person and student, the worst thing I could do is coddle myself. I believed that with enough harshness, I would eventually become the person I wanted to be.

I’ve been trying to unlearn this mindset, especially as the new year and semester begins. Being gentle and accommodating to myself is not only compatible with striving for personal and academic growth, but it’s also necessary for success. Struggle can lead to incredible growth, but it’s not the stress alone that allows this to happen. The adaptations we make in response to stress push us to do things we never thought we were capable of. Don’t fall into the trap of pointless cruelty—it’s when we work for ourselves instead of against that we flourish.

It sounds cliche, but I mean this: in 2025, please be kind to yourself. Be accommodating to your needs, and forgive yourself when it feels like you haven’t done enough. I know there is so much you want to do, but surviving and functioning are the first steps to achieving your goals. Take care of yourself, and we’ll make it through the year.