Bunny Trail

Some Things on my Mind

Bianca Llerena

Last night, I stayed up so late to see that we became the pigeon sisters, grey/aligned, until one flew down into the house. I lifted a curtain, yet behind; ten more curtains. Girls like birds, girls like bruises, girls like seas. We wish to be those girls on boats.

Later, I dreamt that I was alone, barren in my home, and the snow outside was piling so high up that I would never be able to leave. The house was unbearably cold, and I had thin blankets hanging from the ceiling. My mother was nowhere to be found. When I awoke, I found my duvet had fallen from my mattress. And I no longer live with my mother; I now have a house mate.

The bunny trail I found which looped past the shed of our new old house was shaped similarly; with two, long ears. I talked about it later with the same people I ate dinner with.

The end of ‘Transatlanticism’ synced up to the bus lights that night. I looked around and I couldn’t believe I was the only one under water. Sometimes I imagine I am a little goldfish in a pond and a bigger fish is chasing me. It’s nothing fun, but it’s real. I’m still waiting for my gills to grow.

The people in my classes wear clothes I recognize with pictures on their phones that I’ve seen before. It can't be that hard to make friends with them.

The day before we moved out of the house, I promised I would return to the bunny trail and take a picture. For my memories. But I got caught up in the weeds and I packed up my things on the moon. We left before any of us could remember. That’s just how things tend to go.