Back to Square One
A reflection
Q
I have recently needed to take a step back from many responsibilities and obligations, and reorient myself, strip my life down of all the excess, and go back to square one, so to speak. This wasn’t my favorite choice, of course, but it was a necessary one, and one that has inspired a lot of good in my life. It doesn’t feel good to acknowledge when you’ve bit off more than you can chew, to acknowledge when you’re struggling, but it is nonetheless important.
Not only is stepping back important so you can make adjustments, seek help, and keep pushing forward, but it's also a great sign of maturity and deep self-understanding. Which is something I believe I myself lacked, explaining why I got so deep into the shit that I needed to radically prune my life of every last vice, distraction, and excessive obligation. This, however, has opened up many opportunities for me. I’ve embraced the creation of art once more (now that I’m off social media, even YouTube). I’ve begun working on my physical well-being (no more drinking, smoking, et cetera), and even started hitting the gym again. All this is to say, starting fresh can be quite beneficial and important, especially if you find yourself overwhelmed by life or heavily distracted, as I did.
Doing less, while not initially feeling great, has encouraged me to do more of what I love, and not more of what I feel like I have to. Things I love, such as the arts and crafts. As much as I do enjoy working with my political party, I felt definitely stretched very thin and needed that step back. It has also allowed me to hone in on my studies, which, after the disastrous semester I just had, was desperately needed. Ultimately, in an ironic twist of fate, through doing less, I’ve begun to do more, at least more of what really matters to me. This is the crucial kernel that I find must be understood when one considers, or even fears, such a reset to their life. Doing less is not a negative thing whatsoever, and can prove immensely beneficial to you if you’re willing to take that leap (and also maybe lock in a little bit once you do).
Touching on the negativity surrounding taking a step back and trimming the fat from one’s life, it can be stigmatized or looked down upon by yourself or others, with thoughts that it means you are weak or not capable, but this could not be further from the truth. As I said before, it takes great maturity and self-understanding to realize you need to take a step back, and it takes a lot of strength to go through with what can be, at times, a fairly radical decision and reorganization of one’s life.
In the end, what taking a step back and resetting has meant for me—and what it has brought—is the opportunity to find my passions once more, to discipline myself better, and to hone my focus on what it is that really matters. It is so easy to get overwhelmed, lost, and distracted at our age, and even more so to get sucked into one vice or another (or multiple, if you’re feeling ambitious). With that in mind, we must have the insight to be able to pull ourselves out of the deep end, or at least to call for help once the water starts getting over our heads. If you lack the insight, I’ve found that trusting your gut is always a good fallback plan. If your gut is telling you something about any given situation, feeling crummy about where you’re at, just take a step back and reevaluate your position. Maybe you don’t even need to refresh everything, or maybe you do. You can’t know if you’re too stuck in tunnel vision, though.
To cap this potentially too long-winded piece off: know yourself, know where you’re at and what you need. Don’t be afraid to take a step back, either small or large, and find the strength within yourself to make the appropriate adjustments when you do. You might just find yourself in a better place than you were before, as I know I have.