Letter from the Art Director

Dear Reader,

I have been stressing about writing to you since I volunteered to do so two weeks ago. I do not consider myself a writer by any means––I’ve spent the last half hour flipping through past Issues of the Wake to study and figure out a format to follow for writing this. My third year being a part of the Wake art staff, and this is the first (and likely only) piece of my writing that will make it into print.

But do not take my lack of self assurance for reluctance. I knew I had to get over it so I could tell you just how much the Wake means to me.

In the fall of my sophomore year, I sent in my application for art intern. I thought I had found my niche in CBS, switching my major from Biology to Ecology, and all I needed was a creative outlet to keep me sane for the next three years. I had never been part of the yearbook or any type of publication club in high school, but I wanted a way to keep drawing and creating through college.

During my first semester as an intern, I sat in the corner of the room at meetings and merely squeaked to introduce myself. I liked the staff, but I was intimated by the sheer magnitude of their personalities, individuality, and assurance of their own identities. Maybe that wasn’t entirely true for them, but from the outside perspective of an insecure small-ish town girl, it was all I could see. I was new to having others see and react to my artwork, and I felt like I lacked any kind of interesting voice. I often suffer from needing-constant-assurance-to-feel-like-im-doing-a-good-job-itis, so I’m sure I was being a bit dramatic.

At the start of my junior year I was asked to fill the role of Art Director, and I suddenly felt the weight of responsibility. Not only a responsibility to myself, but to the Wake to uphold its legacy and uplift student voices. I considered declining––maybe this was too much for me to handle. But really this was a wake up call (pun), as someone must’ve thought I was doing a decent enough job to offer the position, and I wasn’t about to abandon the community that I had just started to feel like I belonged to.

Flash to now, the end of my senior year fall semester, and I can’t find the words to describe how grateful I am to the Wake and its staff. I love working with a magazine that has allowed me to develop my style, not just in my digital art but as an artist and as a person. I make pieces that reflect my artistry as well as the articles they represent, and feel self assured in doing so. When I was in high school, I painted a mural within the confines of my bedroom and could barely feel like an artist because I was terrified that people would see right through me. Since joining the Wake, I put my art into every issue and have learned to no longer call myself a fraud, but instead an artist. Now I am fulfilling an Art Minor and feeling comfortable in mentoring others. Now instead of squeaking through meetings, I thrive in the commotion and giggle to myself about my own awkward comments. Although I’m still not entirely in tune with myself, and I’m pretty nervous to publish something written, I at least know that my voice is important in more ways than I thought.

Again, I am so grateful to be around so many talented writers and artists and I love the community and I love love LOVEEE.

Cheers! :D

Alex Kozak

Art Director