Excuse Me? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry.

How the evolving use of gendered slang reflects society at large

By: Jun Lin

Mommies, daddies, MILFs, and DILFs—these terms surrounding parental figures are ever-evolving and tied to how we interact with gender and sexuality within memes, slang language, and pop culture.

The best known term, ‘MILF,’ was brought into the mainstream when John Cho used it in the hit 1999 movie “American Pie.” It was then parodied with DILF, GILF, and everything in between. Another piece of hot-mom-centric media released around this time was the song “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne. The quick acceptance of sexualized mother figures in popular media reflects patriarchal expectations that men should objectify women in their language and behavior. Even earlier are the roots of ‘daddy,’ the popular dad-related term for women addressing men, originating back to the 1600s as a name for pimps. While the gay community also adopted ‘daddy’ in the 1970s, this was shielded from the heteronormative mainstream.

The spread of ‘MILF’ and ‘daddy’ in heterosexual contexts makes logical sense after analyzing their dynamics. The acronym ‘MILF’ implies that the speaker is taking an active sexual action, functioning as a dominant and assertive term for the user. In comparison, ‘daddy’ implies a submissive and receptive role for the speaker. Its association with “daddy issues” is also often used negatively towards women. Hence, intentional subversions like the name of the podcast “Call Her Daddy.” The rigid roles of assertive men and receptive women in heterosexual relationships prevent terms like ‘DILF’ and ‘mommy’ from receiving the same popular success.

Open TikTok, Instagram, or Twitter today, though, and it doesn’t take long to run into the lesser used terms of ‘DILF’ and ‘mommy’ along with cases of ‘MILF’ and ‘daddy’ that disregard users’ and receivers’ genders and sexualities. This recent shift can be attributed to increasing openness about communicative sexuality and rising LGBTQ-originated content. Social media gives a platform for these lesser heard voices, resulting in anti-norm, diversified slang terms. While fascinating to watch in real-time, this trend ultimately leads to the question of whether these changes reflect real progress in society or whether these changes are still relegated to TikTok’s ‘For You’ Page.