The Right Way to Become a Mother (Spoiler Alert: There Isn’t One)

A conversation about epidurals, natural birth, and common labor myths

By: Erica Bouska

When my mother was very young, she had grand mal seizures. As a result, she was told she couldn’t get an epidural when she was going into labor with me. Things have changed since then, but in 2001, she had to resort to homeopathic methods and baths, which did nothing to stop the pain. Sorry, Mom.

But why do people choose to have natural births without epidurals?

An epidural is a nerve signal blocker that’s administered to the lower part of the spine and is also used for medical procedures on areas like the legs and pelvis. However, they are most commonly used as a pain suppressor for people in labor and used around 70% of the time in the United States. 

But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s good for every person. An epidural, along with most choices related to labor and delivery, is the parents’ choice. 

The main pro of epidurals, obviously, is pain relief. Besides being highly effective, they’re also incredibly fast and can start relieving pain in 10 to 20 minutes.

They also outshine other pain relievers, with only 1% of people needing additional pain relief after they have an epidural. On average, 28% of people need more pain relievers if they begin with something other than an epidural.

This provides several benefits, including allowing the person to rest if they have a long labor. Additionally, it can be administered at any time.

When it comes to C-sections or other procedures, epidurals can help the person stay alert and reduce pain or discomfort. For longer surgical procedures like C-sections, it gives continuous pain relief and can help with post-operative pain. 

An epidural may seem like an obvious choice, but there are cons people should know before proceeding with any decisions. Some people can’t have epidurals for medical reasons, like low platelet counts or medications they take, or for logistical reasons, like not having an anesthesiologist on hand. 

Even some conditions that are not restrictive may be aggravated by an epidural. They can have side effects like low blood pressure, nausea, and dizziness, and epidurals can make pushing harder. 

Epidurals can also be financially taxing, with the average cost being more than $2,000 in the United States. And the price goes up if it’s a C-section. 

Besides the negatives of epidurals, there’s also a lot to be said about natural births, i.e. labor and delivery without any pain relievers. They come without the costly ties of anesthetics—if a C-section isn’t necessary—and give parents more options in terms of where to have their baby. 

Additionally, there are benefits to natural births. Apart from the spiritual connection of going through the birthing process untethered, a study from Seton University shows that people’s bodies instinctually aid them through labor.

The pain, though frightening and difficult, is meant to serve as a guide so the person can adapt to positions that make them feel better. As labor progresses, the body releases hormones to help stem the pain. 

But just like an epidural, this comes with stipulations. Parents should consider factors like pain tolerance, physical and mental health, the baby’s position and size, and other determinants about the baby and mother before making any decisions. 

Whichever side of this conversation parents land on, there are myths about birth that are beneficial for everyone to put to rest.  

For starters, people can give birth vaginally if they’ve had a C-section before. Usually this depends on the person’s health rather than their previous delivery methods. In the same vein, it can be difficult for someone to tell if they are in labor, which is normal. 

“Childbearing hips” are not a thing, either. Besides cases in which people have specific conditions, women’s pelvises are flexible and designed to move and adjust during childbirth. The size of a person’s hips generally doesn’t affect delivery.

Probably the most creepy myth to dispel is that giving birth on your back is good and normal. Before the 17th century, women were depicted giving birth standing, sitting, or squatting with the support of friends, family, or creative sitting solutions, like hammocks or birthing stools. These drawings have been backed up by modern science, which shows that using those methods is healthier and causes labor to progress more quickly. 

Gravity does a great job at assisting in birth, and the likely reason the world made the switch had nothing to do with science or with women. Around the same time doctors and midwives switched to the lying down position, French king Louis XIV was in power. Some scholars claim  had an obsession with watching women give birth and made them lie on their backs so he could see better.

The final and arguably most important myth is that every childbirth is the same. There is no “right” or “normal” way to deliver a baby, and the screaming mother shown on TV, who somehow has perfectly styled makeup after hours of intense labor, is not an accurate representation. Where, how, and with what methods they choose to bring their child into the world are the parents’ choice.