A Letter to Film Bros
Film bros, do better
By Allie Parker
Dear Film Bro,
This is an intervention. The rumors are true–respectfully, you kinda suck. As a woman in a film major who has never experienced as much ignorant misogyny in a classroom setting as she has this semester in my film classes, I implore you to take my following words to heart.
At the risk of sounding exactly like you, I would like to say that film is art. And you know the cool thing about art? It’s subjective—there are no right answers. Yes, “Interstellar” is an awesome movie, and so is “Pulp Fiction” and “Whiplash” and “Good Will Hunting,” and, according to you, every other movie created by a white man. That doesn’t mean that people who dislike these films are wrong, or that people who like less “artistic” films are wrong. News flash: not everyone is watching “The Shining” just to be able to say,
“Did you know that ‘The Shining’ was inspired by ‘Eraserhead,’ and that Jack Nicholson ate cheese sandwiches for two weeks prior to filming because he hates them, and that the elevator scene took a year to film? What? You didn’t know that? You can’t even call yourself a cinephile. ‘Cinephile’ means someone who likes movies a LOT, like LOTTTT, so therefore I’m a cinephile and you’re not, because you clearly don’t know all the cool facts about every film ever made and I do.”
Now, film bro, you may (and should) be asking yourself, “How can I not be an absolute dickhead while still enjoying and sharing my love/knowledge of film?” It’s actually quite simple. First of all, simply respect the opinions of anyone who’s not a cis-white male. Women, BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ people bear the brunt of film bros’ mansplaining and jackassery. If you just thought to yourself: “What? I respect all disadvantaged groups!” you probably don’t because you’re too busy bowing down to Scorsese. Do better. The amount of times I have had a white man say to me: “What? You just watched (insert film bro movie) for the FIRST time?? That’s crazyyyy. That film is soooo good. (insert white male director) is a cinematic GENIUS,” is quite insane. Recently, I overheard a film bro say to a girl, “Oh my god, if you like movies, if you like stories, if you like THINGS, you’ll love (insert film bro movie).” Wow, bold of you to assume that women like THINGS! Seriously though, I’m always looking for more movie recommendations, but I’m not gonna watch a movie with a plot you explained to me as though I was a small child.
Now, to my FAVORITE archetype of film bros: the film bro filmmakers. While I appreciate your dedication to creating an actual film rather than just watching a movie on your couch and saying, “Nice shot” every five seconds, you are not exempt from my film bro slander. In fact, I have mostly been referring to you specifically throughout this letter! After consulting with my female filmmaker friends, I would like to graciously gift you a list of “Do’s and Don’ts” (mostly “Don’ts”) for not continuing to be a complete jackass. Without further ado:
DO shave your mustache. Having a mustache does not make you a better filmmaker. You look like the Lorax.
DON’T use female characters solely for the following reasons: plot device, sexual gratification, or victim of violence (or any other sexist trope or “time-honored cinematic” cliche).
DON’T write the protagonist to be a carbon copy of yourself, especially with dialogue. Making a character say “fuck” every other word is not as cool as you think it is.
DON’T make your screenplay about a man discovering empathy. This is not a plot. However, it’s something you can do when you’re not too busy objectifying women!
DON’T try to defend your screenplay when someone tells you what’s not working. Let people help you. I promise your fragile masculinity will stay intact. And DEFINITELY don’t aggressively disagree with the feedback a woman has given you, then proceed to praise the feedback of a man who makes the EXACT SAME SUGGESTION that she did (not based on my personal experience at all…).
Film bro, if you’ve made it this far, congratulations—maybe you aren’t as much of a pretentious asshole as I thought! All jokes aside though, please understand that there are infinitely more diverse perspectives and creative opinions other than your own that come from existing outside of the privileged hegemony.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled Film Major
¹ These statements were extracted via much exposure to pervasive cultural pressures and the atmospheres of classrooms, which seemed to drain my spirit, strangle the light out of my eyes, and oppress me, not only as a woman, but as a creative, and lover of art.