Promise or Passion

The uncertainty of pursuing the arts in a time of pandemic

By Kylie Heider

Like everyone else, the COVID-19 pandemic came and sent a shockwave of uncertainty to my life. As the economy slowed to a halt, I began to worry. My parents sole income is a small business; we can’t afford to close up shop for months at a time. My spiral of worry escalated as I recognized that it is very likely we will enter a recession—would I be graduating college into a virtually non-existent job market? Growing up, when I considered future careers, I only really considered my own desires, privileged enough not to worry about my family. With the goal of being a working artist, I’m used to the invalidation that many creatives face regarding their careers. But, until now, I’d never really taken it to heart. 

For many of my friends pursuing BFAs, the doubt that comes with studying such “impractical” careers, such as acting or directing theatre, is something that they are not unfamiliar with. When I asked one of my friends who’s in a similar position as an actress getting her BFA, she replied in earnest: “Because I am not actively studying acting and because of financial problems, I actually feel more insecure about being an acting major… I’m trying to feel hopeful that acting matters right now, but I can’t help but feel like I should be doing more.” Asking another friend of mine, she said that she didn’t feel as though her attitude toward pursuing her artistry had changed: “It was already difficult. What’s gonna worsen it?” 

To those of us who are pursuing something that may not seem pragmatic, the security of another vocation comes at the cost of realizing our life-long ambitions and passions. When neither one is more important than the other, it's a matter of deciding what we are willing to sacrifice, or if we even have to sacrifice anything at all, for ourselves and those we love.