When Less is More
Life feels easier when you’ve got easier choices
Rodrigo Rivera
Coming to the U.S. for college was an easy choice, all things considered. But to be fair, it was literally my dream for the longest time, so when it came to it, not even the prospect of saying goodbye to my family, friends, and country made me doubt that it was the right path for me. Even now, I don’t regret it at all.
Ordering from a restaurant, though… now THAT is a whole other monster! I remember spending literal half-hours as a kid pondering on what I wanted to order. I mean, when you want to get the best possible item, with so many variables in between, it’s just impossible to know! What if I order the fried rice, but it turns out I would have loved the grilled chicken way more? What if I make the “wrong” choice, and I can’t undo it?
My dad, probably a bit annoyed by my antics, would always respond to this with a phrase that I now carry very close to my heart: “It’s not the last meal you’re ever gonna have.” Much to my 10-year-old self’s dismay, I think he hit the nail in the head with that advice.
But wait, I’ve already written about how having to choose between multiple beneficial options can feel bad, so I’m not going to repeat myself. Still, that doesn’t take away from the fact that choices are necessary. If you’re hungry, it may be unfortunate if you end up ordering something that you don’t find particularly tasty, but it’s even worse if you outright never order anything.
Instead I’ll try to answer two new innovative questions. Do these small choices matter enough to even consider them? And can we do anything about being forced to choose?
Consider the following: How differently would you go through your day if you weren’t given any small choices? You’d wake up in the morning, put on the one outfit that’s in your closet, eat the prepackaged meal in your fridge, and walk to class listening to today’s playlist with your favorite tunes. Not only would you save time, but you’d also save up on a lot of the mental load that comes with so many choices.
Sadly, a world where you’re only given the best choice every single time (thus maximizing your satisfaction) simply does not exist, but I argue that it doesn’t need to!
A couple years ago, after college decision season, I found out that out of the 10+ colleges that I applied to I only got accepted to the U of M. So many futures I imagined for myself, gone in a matter of days. I got over it, soon enough, and to my surprise, I found unparalleled clarity to focus on what was next. Instead of spending weeks comparing colleges, I got to other pressing matters—like figuring out how to fit a year’s worth of luggage into a 50 pound suitcase.
Truth is, you just can’t know if you made the best choice. You really can’t. Try as you may, you could go on as many “what if?” spirals as you want, but you can’t live two lives at once, much less 20, so you’ll never see every outcome.
What to do, then? I see two possible, equally valid, solutions. You could A, be lucky—or unlucky—enough to always be given exactly one choice at everything you do, thus completely eliminating trade-offs. Or B, you can stop worrying about finding the “best” choice and realize that 99% of the time, a “pretty good” choice is virtually just as good.
I’m not saying to not make good choices, or even to make careless ones. (Please keep on deliberating on your life-altering decisions) But don’t think about it too much. You’ll likely find that the minimal improvement you could get from delaying a decision is not worth all the extra effort. Same about stressing over “what if” scenarios. It rarely does any good, so focus on what’s actually going on.
My final insight for this issue is that you should look to have dreams. Dreams are a way of non-choice too, because if you really want something more than anything in the world, then you’ll never have trouble choosing it over all of your other options.
And if you’re wondering, yes, these days I tend to be the first person at the restaurant table to know what to order, and I love it.